If you are broke....

I get it. It's a bad economy! We are all struggling. But there is nothing that pisses me off more than someone who will not pull their own weight and uses others, especially in a bad economy. I see it all the time on Judge Judy and it pisses me off. You know what bothers me more? Those dumbfucks who let it happen. So, here is a short guide for those who manage fall victim to gold diggers and parasites.

Don't repeatedly fall for the line "I don't have any cash on me or I left my money in the car". Just leave them on the sidewalk behind the velvet rope and go into the club by yourself. Don't even feel guilty about it.

Don't repeatedly fall for the line "I'll pay for your drinks next time." Just leave the fool thirsty. If you don't have any money, then your ass should be looking for a job, not your next drink.

Don't repeatedly pay for someone's meal. Top Ramen is 10 cents and if you are broke, then that's what the hell you should be eating. Nice restaurants are for people who have money, not broke people with a pallete for oysters.

Don't pay for anyone's rent, mortgage or car note. It's okay if it's once but it's just dumb if you do it all the time. They sell bus passes at all supermarkets. Everyone can go behind any store and get a cardboard box and call that home.

Do not put anyone on your cellphone plan. Most people who can't get their own cellphone usually have bad credit. If they won't pay Verizon, then they won't pay you. You will get screwed eventually and you will feel dumb when the scumbag doesn't pay for the phone calls he or she has made to phone sex operators, prostitutes, sluts, and their secret probation officer.

Don't pay for anyone's plane ticket expecting them to pay you back! If it's a family emergency, that's one thing, but if you are paying for someone to go to Jamaica, you are a dumbass if you think that person will pay you back. If you can't afford to pay for your vacation, then why the hell are you going? Just buy them a poster of Jamaica, and put that shit up in their cardboard box.

Lastly, unless you are related to them, don't let anyone move in to your house. They won't ever pay. They won't ever get a job. They won't ever leave. You'll be stuck with the person on your couch, eating your balony and soaking up your electricity. And it makes it easier for them to find you and ask you money for the club, their cellphone, and money for their car note.