This Saturday some friends and I decided to go out in Hollywood. Last minute, my friend said she was going to bring her recently divorced highly critical, snobby cousin Bianca with us. Oh boy!
Bianca came into my house, complaining the entire time. She complained that there was no adequate parking for her BMW so I apologized. She claimed my apartment was drafty so I gave her a blanket. Then, she claimed the blanket was itchy and that it had lice in it. I then took it away from her and told her to take a few shots. She needed to calm down. I brought out the bottle of vodka. She said she didn’t drink cheap vodka. Then I politely told her that she could walk down to the local CVS and buy us all a bottle of Grey Goose. We would drink it! She shut up.
I was thinking, gosh it’s so strange that this train wretch is recently divorced. To me, she seemed like the perfect wife. So, the story doesn’t end here. So, what happened next? Bianca is a mess.
Next we went out to a bar and she continued to take shot after shot after shot. Toward the end of the night, she even started taking other peoples drinks when they weren't drinking. She even took a dollar out of the bartenders tip jar. Then, suddenly, she yanked off her shirt and began to unbutton her skirt, giving the patrons a strip tease. We ran to her to prevent her from stripping even more and took her drunk ass to my apartment to sleep off her drunkness. The next day, she woke up and screamed out that she was leaving. She needed to get ready for work. After asking a few questions, she informed me of her occupation. Little miss Bianca is a therapist!
No wonder crazy people never get better.
No comments:
Post a Comment