Have you ever hated a job so much that you wish some giant
boulder would fall on your cubicle? Well, my current terrible job is turning me
into a bitter, disgruntled, and slightly stupid person. I used to be a smart girl. Well, I used to
have average intelligence, above average if I lived in Mississippi. Now, I think I lose 25 brain cells a day
working around my coworkers at my terrible job.
The other day, some fool tried to cook a potato for ten
minutes in the lunchroom. Guess what happened?
Suddenly there was an exploding potato in the microwave. He stood dumbfounded, wondering why his
potato suddenly exploded. Must have been a defective potato.
Yet, despite the hot potato incident, I have to sort his
damn mail. Why? Well, because he has a pretty full plate, trying to figure out
how to work his stapler. I’m a firm
believer that when you work around dumb, you get dumber. It happens, by osmosis
or something, because the other day I seriously contemplated making a drink
mixed with tequila and chardonnay. After coming back to reality, I realized
that drinking a whiskey and coke at my desk would be a smarter option.
I am sick of constantly being asked to do bullshit that is
totally not in my terrible job description. It sucks and I am not going to do
it anymore. Sure, I am happy to have a terrible job, but at what cost? At this point, I’d rather work at Taco Bell
than have to work around this cast of characters any longer. Well, probably not
Taco Bell because that place is disgusting, but I could definitely rock a hair
net at Burger King. They could hire me to watch out for every exploding potato
in the microwave.
It’s a New Year and it’s time for us all to make new
decisions in life. It’s time for those who have been looking for employment, to
finally get a job in 2013. It’s also time for those of us who have terrible
jobs, to give the boss the middle finger, and find some other way to make a
living.
If not, well then, watch out an exploding potato in the
microwave.
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