What is up with America’s obsession with bacon? Is bacon a food or is it a drug? Not everything needs to be turned into or wrapped with bacon. If you decide that everything you eat must have bacon on it or in it, then you may need some sort of bacon related rehab. Because, everything bacon is not at all healthy for you.
I went over to a friend’s house, who is obsessed with homemade bacon. Well, this weekend, she decides to have a lovely homemade bacon party. I fully expected a few things to just be wrapped in bacon. However, she decided to step it up a notch and take the party into a whole other disturbing level.
Next to the TV sat an assortment of wild boar bacon and lamb bacon. How that is made is a mystery to me. However, I could have survived not knowing that Wild Boar bacon and lamb bacon actually exist. People in the party complained that the wild boar bacon and lamb bacon tasted differently than regular pork bacon. I guess they have a very refined bacon pallet. Bacon, no matter the animal, to me just tastes like salt and grease.
After the Wild Boar bacon and lamb bacon, she decided to make some bacon brownies and bacon ice cream. The bacon brownies were okay; however, the bacon ice cream tasted really quite foul. I wouldn’t eat chicken ice cream so why am I eating bacon ice cream. My friend also told me that she had a variety of bacon dessert recipes that she wanted to share with me so that I could make some at home for my children. Do I want my kids to have high blood pressure by the age of 8? I’m not feeding them any of this!
To top it all off, there was bacon flavored beer and bacon flavored vodka. Again, why is that necessary? Alcohol is great all by itself! Why must you mess it up by infusing it with bacon? That should be against the law. Again, I wouldn’t drink shrimp flavored vodka. Why would I really want to drink bacon flavored?
By the end of the night, I wanted to throw up. I kept tasting the wild boar bacon mixed with the lamb bacon while I burped from the beer flavored bacon. Look, I understand. To some, bacon tastes fantastic. The crispiness and saltiness of homemade bacon is practically orgasmic. But, items such as homemade bacon ice cream and bacon brownies are really taking it to a whole other level.
Step away from the bacon. ..try eating a salad.
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