Why is it whenever I am late for work as an academic tutor, I always have to share the road with some fool who insists on going two miles an hour in a thirty five mile an hour zone. To top it off, this same dummy has to drive in the left lane!
Did you miss the memo from the DMV? Did the DMV forget to mail you the real driver’s manual? So, let me break this down to you! Page one of the DMV manual would tell you to not drive in the left lane if you drive slower than most people walk! Do not drive in the left lane if you see people zooming past you in the right lane! Do not drive in the left lane if you see snails and ants laughing at you as they pass you!
The right lanes are for people who drive at least the speed limit. The left lane is for those who go at least 10 miles over the speed limit. If you want to drive ten miles an hour, go to a golf course and drive a golf cart.
Some people actually have annoying academic tutoring clients to meet.
Showing posts with label drive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drive. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Yes, I do talk to myself!
On Thursday, I was driving in wall to wall traffic to work. Instead of listening to the boring radio in the morning, I decided to instead entertain myself by having a nice little conversation…with myself. I told jokes and screamed out the punch line. I gossiped about a few of the fools I would encounter at work. I even told a ten minute cleverly contrived story to myself, which consisted of a ghost, a flying cookie and a purple chicken (don’t you wish you were in the car with me?). I was having fun!
All of a sudden, I turned and saw this unnaturally perfect couple starring straight into my Toyota Corolla. Apparently, I hadn’t rolled up my windows while telling my adventurous story and the nosy couple had heard the entire thing. It was obvious that the couple felt sorry for me. I can’t possibly understand why.
So I must ask, why does the world act like those who talk to themselves should be committed to a mental institution? What is so wrong with talking to yourself? I happened to like myself very much and find my conversations with myself intellectually stimulating. No one can make me laugh like I can! If I am my only audience, then I don’t have to worry about offending anyone! And, if I tell a bad joke, then I don’t have to worry about being booed.
To some I may sound crazy and trust me, I totally agree that I have a few screws loose in my lopsided head. But I would probably be even loonier if I didn’t talk to myself. I cannot be the only person in the world who talks to themselves. I just may be the only person who admits it.
All of a sudden, I turned and saw this unnaturally perfect couple starring straight into my Toyota Corolla. Apparently, I hadn’t rolled up my windows while telling my adventurous story and the nosy couple had heard the entire thing. It was obvious that the couple felt sorry for me. I can’t possibly understand why.
So I must ask, why does the world act like those who talk to themselves should be committed to a mental institution? What is so wrong with talking to yourself? I happened to like myself very much and find my conversations with myself intellectually stimulating. No one can make me laugh like I can! If I am my only audience, then I don’t have to worry about offending anyone! And, if I tell a bad joke, then I don’t have to worry about being booed.
To some I may sound crazy and trust me, I totally agree that I have a few screws loose in my lopsided head. But I would probably be even loonier if I didn’t talk to myself. I cannot be the only person in the world who talks to themselves. I just may be the only person who admits it.
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