I just fell face down while crossing the street.

I didn’t trip over my shoelaces because today I wore Velcro shoes. I didn’t fall over a bucket, bag, leaf, ant or dead body. No bird flew into the back of my head, forcing me to fall over and hit the hot ground. And, I know what you are thinking! It just isn’t true! I wasn’t gossiping about someone before the incident. I didn’t trip on black ice. It doesn’t really exist in LA. I am pretty sure I just fell because, well, I’m clumsy.

As I was lying in the middle of the street, my lips caressing the rough asphalt, I couldn’t help but wonder if any other individuals had fallen at the same time as I had. I’m sure quite a few one year olds and even a few two year olds fall daily on their faces, but even most four year olds learn the art of putting one foot in front of the other. What is wrong with me? Did I forget at that precise second?

A few people came to my rescue. Others just pointed and laughed hysterically at me. And what did I do when I got up from my fall? I should have bowed or curtseyed. I could have wiped the dirt off my gleaming white outfit and picked the street pebbles out of my hair. I could have even charged the laughing audience members for providing them with a unique comedy show.

Instead, I rushed out of the street to avoid getting hit by an approaching school bus.